“Taxi…JFK please”

Two days before takeoff and blue-checkered packing boxes are strewn across my hallway. I’ve been packing for 6 months and my inability to make minor decisions has somehow resulted in an intense internal conflict of whether or not to pack my coffee maker. It’s my 3^rd in three years, yet considering the fact that I find myself unemployed along with the entire population of Manhattan, it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. The angst in the New York air is palpable, and we are all in a sense looking for something.

Buying a one-way ticket to Africa was an easier decision for me than picking out which sunglasses I would bring with me over there. Kenya is on the Equator, and even though I’m pretty sure I was African in a past life, my fair skin needs more than the entire suitcase of SPF 65 that I’m bringing. To some, it wasn’t surprising, to others, inspiring, and for a few, a venture with which they couldn’t quite come to terms. I think denial is so blasé, but that’s coming from someone who’s dramatic enough to think her life is being filmed for an HBO special. To me, this is just another challenge I’m daring myself to accomplish, an opportunity to raise the bar in my world. Who am I to think that this is all life is, or that my individual tribulations are so daunting. It has taken determination to get where I am now, but if I’ve accomplished it, that means I can be better. Always wanting more has got me into trouble more than a few times in my 20-something years of existence, but it’s still the reason I’m renting out the best windowless bedroom in the West Village.

All I know is that life is extraordinary, the future--enigmatic, and it’s up to us to get off our ass and create the fate we want. Because after the checkered boxes and possibly a coffee maker are locked into the storage unit, I’m going to close my eyes, make a wish, and hail a taxi on the corner of Horatio and Washington. Maybe this new pursuit will result in a fate that doesn’t include this city or the people in it whom I’ve grown to love. Maybe not…but in true form, I can’t really decide.